Orientation, or, it's easier to avoid a hangover than suffer through one

Orientation and host responsibility aren’t always words that appear in the same sentence (although they should be). However, if you’re planning on going out gigging and you intend to remember your first weeks back at uni for positive reasons, it’s a good idea to eat something stodgy and drink something that’s not 150 proof – especially if you want to avoid being search-and-seizured by the cops. Sangria and garlic bread are good for groups, easy to make in quantity and an ideal way to spend a summery afternoon while making togas.

Sangria

Sangria is a red wine and fruit punch originally from Spain - even if you think red wine is rank, chances are you’ll think this is alright. There are thousands of recipes for sangria online, most of which proclaim to be the One True Punch, but ultimately you only need these things: cheap wine, some fruit, something non-alcoholic and fizzy, some ice and maybe a sweetener like syrup or honey. You can add a few shots of triple sec, vodka, gin or brandy if you like, but don’t turn it into rocket fuel unless you want to relive your Year 12 afterball and stain the carpet. Make sure the wine is dry (not too sweet) and cheap – now is the time to get rid of the bottle of $5 mystery red someone gave you for your flat warming. You can use a white wine for sangria blanca, or cheap fizzy if you’re that way inclined (I’m not, it’s usually sickly). If you want to make it in bulk, cask wine is great – just convert up. This is all very inexact – the bartending equivalent of bucket chemistry – just find what rings your bell, mix it up, garnish it with something pretty and wait for the accolades.

Bog standard Sangria

• 1 bottle (750ml) of rubbish wine
• A couple of citrus fruit (lemons, oranges, limes) cut into thin wedges
• A big spoon of sugar or a squirt of honey
• Fruit (fresh or canned, chopped into bits)
• Berries
• 4ish cups (1 litre) of ginger ale or dry lemonade or similar
• Lots of ice

Pour the wine into a pitcher or large bowl. Squeeze the juice from the citrus in with it and add the dejuiced wedges, the fruit  and the sugar. If you want to add a few shots of spirits, now’s the time. Restrain yourself and leave it overnight in the fridge or somewhere cool – the longer it sits the better it will taste (within reason). When you’re ready to serve, add the soda, the berries, the ice, and either fiddle with the ingredients a bit or serve. 

For large quantities, you can make this is a bucket – however, buy a cheap one new and give it a bloody good clean. Handy Andy residue has no place in this recipe.

Garlic bread

Homemade garlic bread is significantly nicer that the floppy sweet rubbish Pizza Hut sells, and is cheaper than buying it premade from the supermarket. It’s good with soup, stews or pasta or for general snacky-snack purposes.

Mr Longbean swears that garlic butter was one of his staples when he was at university in England. It can be used with garlic bread, on steak, bagels, corn on the cob, baked potatoes or in general for cooking. Buy butter on special where possible, it’s become very expensive. Garlic butter can theoretically be made with an olive oil spread like Olivio, although it’s not as nice, but for the love of all that’s holy don’t use any of the ‘lite’ brands or margarine. If you don’t want something gloopy, you could mix some crushed garlic with a little olive oil and brush it lightly on the bread. There are often specials on French sticks at the supermarket, but you could use any other bread that you can cut or tear up into nice pieces. If you have parmesan cheese, a little sprinkle on top works wonders.

For one long French stick:

• 50 – 75g butter, depending on your arteries
• 2 cloves garlic (or more, depending on your tolerance levels)
• Some chopped up parsley, chives or other herbs (optional)

Preheat your oven to 180 C. Slice up the French stick into 2cm slices without cutting all the way through the bottom crust, leaving it in its loafish form. Remove the skin from the garlic – pressing down hard on the clove with the side of a knife helps – and chop it up finely. In a small bowl, soften the butter (microwaves are helpful), then stir in the garlic and herbs. If the butter is too runny to spread, cool it in the fridge for 10 minutes. Spread it over the bread or between the slices. Wrap your loaf in tin foil. Cook for 10 minutes, unwrap it slightly, then cook for another 5 minutes more.  If you want to be lazy, you could always slice or tear up your bread, butter it, and put it under the grill – keep an eye on it though.

A word about garlic: Where possible buy New Zealand garlic. Chinese garlic is much larger and whiter but not as nice, and it has a tendency to dry out quickly. The pre-crushed stuff is alright, however it can be very potent and it has a slightly metallic aftertaste. If it’s a bit old and starting to sprout, remove the green bits and cut up as usual.