My most memorable stein (sorry, tea party) breakfast was an epic fry up (including sweet things) on the bbq for 10 people, all washed down with a magnum of Moet that someone had won. Very classy! It still didn’t stop the usual dramas (passing out from too much sun, getting tearful and upset at trivialities, becoming best friends with someone covered in mud, lipstick lesbian show-kissing, kick to the head in the mosh pit, finding people shagging in the bushes), but it was a good effort nonetheless.
While the organisers these days offer a better rounded and more palatable food and beverage experience than the ill-begotten nacho beans and Export Gold of my undergraduate tea parties, it is still wise to line your stomach in the morning rather than waking up and reaching for the beer bong before you’ve got your costume gaffer taped on.
If you have it within you to be so organised as to cook them the night before, these pinwheel scones will serve beautifully in the morning with a side of beer or cheap fizzy when warmed up in the oven or microwave. They’ll also provide a welcome effort-free dinner once you’ve managed a blurry and nauseous trip back home on the Orbiter, preferably dressed like a buzzy bee, a Transformer made of cardboard boxes, or a slutty [insert noun here]. Don’t drink and fry, kids, or you won’t get your bond back.
Pinwheel scones – one for the baker bots
Scone base
4 1/2 cups white flour
3 tablespoons baking powder
A big pinch of salt
120g butter
Up to 2 cups of milk
Pre-heat the oven to 210 degrees C. Combine the flour, salt and baking powder in a large bowl (I use a punch bowl) – you can sift them together or give it all a quick whisk to remove lumps.
Conventional wisdom would have it that you dice the butter, add it to the flour and then work it in with your fingertips, however I can’t abide the feeling of dough beneath my nails so I do one of two things. The first is to chill the butter and grate it in. The second, lazy version, which many will tell you is heresy (but we did it all the time at the cafe and everything was fine), is to melt the butter and just pour it right in. Either way, add the butter and combine everything well.
Make a well in the middle and pour in most of the milk. ‘Stir’ the dough quickly with a butter knife – things will be getting thick and doughy. Add more milk if it’s a bit dry, or more flour if it’s a bit sloppy. When it’s lovely and soft and not at all sticky, and is staying in one big ball, sprinkle the CLEAN CLEAN bench with flour, turn out the dough in the middle and give it a quick knead with your CLEAN CLEAN hands. Roll the dough out about 1.5cm thick into a big rectangle – the longer your dough is along the edge facing you, the more scones you’ll have. Add your fillings, leaving a strip about an inch wide clear along the edge furthest away from you so as to make sealing the scones easier.
Starting at the edge closest to you, very carefully roll the whole thing away from you into a long roll, then slice to make individual scones. Lightly dust a tray with flour and lay out the scones, leaving a good inch or so in between them. Check them after 10 minutes, and cook until finished – depending on the size of your scones this could take 20 – 25 minutes in all. If you’re unsure, give the dough a poke – if should be firm and spring back against your finger, and the scones should be a light golden brown on the bottom.
If you’re storing these, wait until they are cold before keeping in an airtight container and eat within a couple of days. Give them a quick microwave if they are more than a day old.
Sweet mix
Add 1T cinnamon and 2T sugar to the flour before adding the butter. Spread the rolled out dough with butter or softened cream cheese, then sprinkle liberally with brown sugar and cinnamon (or spices of your choosing). Add orange or lemon zest or small bits of dried fruit (apricots, sultanas) for extra points. One you have rolled and sliced the pinwheels, sprinkle a bit more cinnamon or raw sugar over the top before you stick them in the oven. These can be made to be quite dainty. Also, imagine how good nutella scones would be.
Savoury mix – aka the Bakehouse special
Add 1 ½ t dried green herbs or paprika and 1/4c cheese to the flour before adding the butter. Spread the rolled out dough with relish, tomato paste, or sweet chilli. Sprinkle it with cheese and add any of the following: chopped up bacon or ham, diced tomato (take out the seeds or it will get sloppy), diced mushrooms, grated courgette, finely shredded spinach, diced onion, fresh green herbs, drained kernel corn. For bonus points, spread the side that is going to be the centre of the pinwheel with a thick glob of cream cheese. Pat the filling down gently with your hands before rolling carefully and slicing. It might get messy, and if things aren’t really sitting still you can hold them together with a skewer while cooking. Sprinkle with cheese and seeds before cooking. These may end up the size of your head.
No comments:
Post a Comment