Thursday, September 8, 2011

Steak - aka a big bit of cow v2.0

It’s Mr Longbean’s birthday! This is code for ‘it’s time to have something other than beans on toast for dinner’. For the omnivores amongst us, the excuses for a flash steak dinner are legion: a new special friend whom you are trying to impress; a successful assignment; marking the failure of first year calculus for the second year in a row; graduation; make ups; break ups (table for one); earthquake days when the only available heat source is the barbecue; meat parties after a raffle win at the local tavern; the decision to drop out of uni and become an adventurer for hire. Almost any occasion is a steak occasion, unless you don’t like eating things with faces, in which case, awkward.

Lovely steak

One lovely bit of steak
Olive oil
Salt, pepper (optional)

Let your steak sit at room temperature for a good half hour to hour. Put a bowl over it if the cat is getting nosy. Rinse it and pat it dry with a paper towel. Select a sturdy pan. If you have a proper cast iron skillet, then immediately award yourself a gold star. Brush it or wipe it gently with a bit of oil. Heat it up as hot as you can, until either the oil begins to smoke, or until a few droplets of water hiss when thrown onto the hot surface.

Wipe or brush the steak on both sides with a little bit of oil and, immediately before you put it in the pan, season it with a tiny bit of salt and pepper – if you leave it for too long, the salt will draw out some of the lovely juices (in fact there is even argument as to whether you should to this at all). Throw it in the pan and listen to that lovely sizzle. Open a window or turn on the extractor, things will get smoky.

While you can find cooking times easily online or in a cookbook, given the variety of thicknesses of steak, especially when getting them from somewhere other than the discount bin of the supermarket, it can be more accurate to judge with your eye. For a medium rare steak, wait until red juices are beginning to form droplets on the top of the steak, then turn it, then remove it from the heat when droplets form on that side too – on our hob this is about 4 minutes per side. For medium, wait until the droplets are pink and beginning to pool before turning. For well done, the bane of the grill cook and an insult to expensive cuts, wait until the juices are pooling and almost clear, then punch yourself in the face.

Once you have removed the steak from the heat, place it on a warmed plate and let it sit for at least 10 minutes. You might like to set the oven to its lowest temperature (usually about 50C) and put it inthere. Resting the meat is a rule, not an option, and can be an extreme test of willpower. 

Pro tips:
  • Don’t turn a steak more than once. Only sneak a peek on its underside if you think it might be charring and, if so, turn down the heat a bit. Otherwise, don’t prod it, don’t poke it, don’t don’t wiggle it or press it down. If you do, all the steak magic will disappear and you will only have yourself to blame. 
  • Steak with the bone in takes somewhat longer to cook than without. 
  • More tender cuts, like fillet (filet mignon), take a little less time than sturdier cuts like a ribeye. 
  • Steaks ‘marbled’ with fat taste the best, so stop checking the calories on everything
  • Don’t use stewing steak or anything that needs a slow cooker. The great chef in the sky will weep tears of béarnaise sauce and you will be cast out of the meat eater’s heaven to endure forty days and nights of water crackers and light beer.

Serve with something classy such as potato rosti, sautéed leeks and mushrooms and a sturdy shiraz blend, or, at a pinch, a scoop of chips, a sprig of parsley and a Speight’s Old Dark.

A word about pans: a good skillet will last you a lifetime. It is also good as a self defence item in case of home invasion or overly zealous drunken flatmate mistakenly coma-ing on your bed with you still in it.

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